My Redemption

At twenty one years old, I lost every battle against the PTSD and depression I faced. Reality, memories, and life itself seemed orchestrated to annihilate me. Homeless and blinded by despair, I turned to the bitter lifestyle and cold comfort of substance abuse in a last ditch attempt to escape. 

That year of my life was unlike any other, shaping the future in ways I never could have imagined. Everything of value I owned was stolen from me by people I trusted. I cut myself off from friends and family because I knew they would be disappointed in me. My support system dissolved and I lost faith in the future.
I took shelter in a shed, death imminent from an infection rampaging through my blood. My car, phone, and wallet had been stolen. I was exhausted, hungry, and in indescribable agony. I was content to let myself die that night, falling asleep to the sound of rain cascading over the wooden shed.

A good Samaritan took me in, got me to the hospital, and nursed me back to health. I fell in love, got clean, became pregnant, and had a son. I wish I could say my PTSD was miraculously cured. I wish I could say that these last four years of motherhood haven't held their own trials. I worked two jobs, powered through weeks of overtime, attended countless treatment meetings, and finally managed to provide a stable home for my son. 

I've written this in the hopes that my story will encourage others to keep fighting for the people they love. My destiny wasn't to die alone in that shed or to drown in drug addiction for the rest of my life. I have strength of conviction and purpose. Anders knows I love him more than anything and influences every decision I make.

My past is an inspiration thanks to the love, support, and faith of people around me. My life story isn't merely comprised of suffering and abuse. I was given the blessing of a second chance and have been on a mission of self improvement ever since. Teaching Anders his letters and watching him grow is fulfilling beyond my capacity to describe. 

God blessed me with a baby boy who saved my soul and soothes my pain. Anders is the reason for everything I've done right. For my redemption.